


Bittersweet

by Andromakhe



Series: Balance [6]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-05-02 16:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5255642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromakhe/pseuds/Andromakhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sort of prequel to "House and Home." Karai seeks to pay off a nonexistent debt. Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me" is precisely how Karai feels here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been wanting to write a gentle, fluffy Leorai piece. I think I finally succeeded. But the pairing is never pure fluff. And yet they still manage to be heartwarming. I guess it’s a gift.
> 
> This could be read as a prequel to "House and Home," and maybe even "Unworthy," but it wasn’t originally written as such. I’m imagining it’s a pretty cool time of year. Maybe the fall season.
> 
> Celine Dion’s "Because You Loved Me" is perfect for this fic. Perfect!

The peace of the lair was suddenly broken by a violent, but unexaggerated, sneeze. Karai started, whipping her head around to glance behind her, but she relaxed soon enough when she saw Leo raising his head and heard him sniffle. Turning back to her columns of numbers, she picked up her pen again and wrote down a figure, then put her pen down and grabbed the tissue box on the desk and began walking to the bed, which Leo was sitting back down on with a grateful smile.

"Thanks," Leo sniffled again, taking the box and setting it beside him as she turned away and sat back at the desk, pen in hand.

Karai nodded automatically as Leo blew his nose and tossed the folded tissues across the room into the waste basket by the desk. "No problem," Karai answered. "And nice shot."

Leo chuckled smugly. "A lot of practice over my lifetime" was his easy reply as he reclined against the wall behind him, arms behind his head. "Oh, and if I startled you, sorry about that." He laughed a little awkwardly. "I…should have muffled it. I hadn’t thought."

Karai giggled over her shoulder. "It was…surprising, yeah. But no need to apologize. I’m sure you couldn’t help it." After a short pause. "You’re not getting sick, are you?" she asked threateningly.

"Huh?" An eyebrow rose. "Um, no, no. It’s…you know…nothing." Leo waved a hand dismissively and put it back behind his head. "But I appreciate the concern. Or your desire to not catch it. Whichever." He smirked.

Karai huffed through her nose and silence descended again as she read over the numbers and took some moments to find her place in her work. Paper rustled occasionally and Karai heard sheets rustle behind her as Leo shifted position and pulled a blanket over his thighs. This was a silence that was comfortable and easy and difficult to come by. But it probably helped that only Splinter was at home with them. The rest of the family were over at April’s dad’s place with Casey for the evening. 

When Karai next looked at Leo, he had his legs pulled up to his chest, head bent toward them as he rubbed tired eyes. The blanket was now around his shoulders and his shell, feet covered in his current position. One arm was folded across his stomach, holding the blanket in place.

Karai’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Leo," she warned. "You said you weren’t getting sick."

Leo nodded. "I’m not." His tone was decisive and a touch annoyed.

"Right." Skepticism dripped from her voice.

Leo sighed wearily, but said nothing.

"Need another blanket?" Karai asked in concern after a moment’s thought.

Leo hesitated. "It’s…I’ll manage."

Karai stared at him a long moment, then rolled her eyes and got to her feet, twisting at the waist as she stretched luxuriously. She didn’t miss the way Leo’s eyes tracked her movement to the door, or the way the hand not holding the blanket reached toward her and then retracted, or the way his expression fell in disappointment. Still, Leo didn’t move to follow her. Karai guessed it was warmer to stay where he was.

* * *

Karai knocked on Splinter’s door. 

"Come in," Splinter called, sounding pretty content. Maybe she and Leo weren’t the only ones savoring this quiet.

Karai just poked her head in, the scent of incense filling the air. Nodding formally, she asked, "How’s it going? And you want some hot chocolate?"

"I am well, my daughter. Thank you for asking. And hot chocolate sounds wonderful in this chill. And how are you and Leonardo?" Splinter’s tone was warm and kind. She’d never heard such a tone from the Shredder. Probably ever. The closest Shredder came to warmth was when he had accomplished a goal and was satisfied for the time being. But kindness was out of the question. The best Karai got was praise for good work. And while she had heard Splinter raise his voice in anger and even been disciplined with the guys for trying to get away with something he’d expressly forbidden, it was nothing compared to the Shredder’s moods. The Shredder was unstable and unpredictable. Splinter was usually calm and gentle. Leo had told her not to take Sensei’s anger too personally. His anger was motivated by a lurking fear of loss, the same fear he himself knew as team leader, and Karai could empathize. After living in this clan and learning what family meant, she, too, understood the fear of loss. The longing for a mother she never knew was nothing compared to the attachment she now had for her father and brothers.

"Miwa?" Splinter prompted. "Are you and Leonardo well?"

Karai blinked. "Sorry, Father." She bowed by force of habit, but Splinter raised a hand and shook his head. "We’re well. The quiet in the lair is such a relief. I love the guys, but they can be loud."

"Yes," Splinter chuckled, but Karai saw pure affection in his brown eyes. "But I always tell myself the noise means they are healthy and happy. So I usually regard it as a fair exchange. Not that I do not appreciate this silence as well." He winked at Karai, who winked back.

"They’re great guys," Karai murmured. "We got off to a bad start, but they risked their lives to rescue me, and even if they only did it out of loyalty to Leo, I’m still grateful. Leo’s been so good to me, done so much for me. I’ll never be able to repay what I owe."

Splinter frowned. "I am certain Leonardo does not expect payment." His tone was stern, displeased.

Karai stepped back, fully outside the room again. "I know. But I still feel like it’s uneven, unfair. But how can you repay gifts of love, and faith, and sacrifice? Especially when you didn’t deserve them and gave nothing but hatred, vengefulness, and pain?"

"Miwa," Splinter said gently, "do you love Leonardo now? Would you die for him now? Have you expressed remorse for your behavior and gratitude for who he has helped you to become? Can you strive to be the kind of person he would approve of - follow his example?"

Karai stepped into the room and slid the door shut, sitting on the floor across from Splinter. "Yes. Yes. I don’t think so. And I’m not sure."

"Then I suggest you tell him. And why aren’t you sure?"

"I’m not like him by nature. I can do a lot for those I care about, but I really don’t care to help just for the sake of it, like he would. I’m not as rule-bound, either. I’d happily steal or threaten or bribe to get something we need or to accomplish a mission. It’s too much sacrifice to become him. If I tried, I’d resent him and love would become hate again."

Splinter shook his head. "No, my daughter. I do not think even Leonardo wishes for you to lose your cunning and ruthless pragmatism. If anything, he likely recognizes the usefulness of having one like you at his disposal. But what I’m saying is to be mindful of motive. That is to say, if you must do something Leonardo would not like, could you look him in the eyes and justify it? If yes, then by all means, be the kunoichi you were trained to be."

Karai smiled, feeling warm inside. "Hai, Sensei. Thank you. I’ll get on it right away." She stood and bowed again. Splinter stood and bowed back. 

"Miwa," Splinter smiled, ears lifting in pride. "One last thing. You have come to offer me hot chocolate. A far cry from poison. Think about that."

Karai looked guilty, lowering her head, but then lifted it again as her eyes lit with happiness. She understood the implication. She was acting like a Hamato. Maybe she really could leave her past behind and be different. She would never be as selfless as Leo, and frankly, she hated the thought. But she had hope she could still be herself and have a place in the family. She would be an asset to her new clan. That was how she’d repay them.

* * *

Nodding to Splinter, she left his room and heated milk in the microwave. Grinning in anticipation, she mixed dark chocolate cocoa into it. Leo was going to love it. It was something she was pleased to find they had in common. She put the mugs on a tray with spoons, since the drinks were pretty hot, and walked slowly to Splinter’s door. He was waiting for her and took his mug off the tray with a smile. Inclining her head, she got a warm, heavier blanket than the one Leo had and tucked it under one arm, finally making it back to Leo’s room. Closing the door and setting the tray on his nightstand, she saw that Leo was fast asleep. She frowned in disappointment, but nodded in understanding. She’d taken more time than was reasonable to return.

Karai hesitated, looking from the chocolate to Leo and back to the chocolate. She’d been hoping to share it with him. She could drink his, which meant more for her, but she’d rather get the pleasure of seeing him drink it. Be mindful of motive. Was she being selfish to wake him when he was clearly already tired when she left? Maybe. She sighed. 

Placing the blanket she’d brought over the back of the desk chair, she sat down with her chocolate and blew on it, sipping carefully with her spoon. She loved the rich, creamy texture, but she knew she’d love it even more if Leo were awake. And wouldn’t Leo feel bad for missing it? Maybe not. He could always make it himself. But Leo was giving, and he would feel bad if she’d wanted him to enjoy it with her and he was unavailable. She’d wake him and let him choose. This seemed justified. And he might decide in her favor besides.

Smirking, she climbed onto the bed and nestled close to Leo, an arm over his chest as she propped herself above him. She shook him by the shoulder gently and stroked his cheek and his neck repeatedly until he stirred. He blinked up at her drowsily, taking a moment to process his situation. Smiling kindly, he propped himself on an arm and pulled her close, his eyes full of so much love. Karai was almost overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotion. She blinked rapidly and kissed his lips, slipping her serpentine tongue into his mouth briefly before pulling back with a cunning glint in her gaze.

Leo’s eyes widened as he ran his tongue over his lips. "Chocolate?" he whispered, eyes lighting up.

Karai grinned. "Yeah. Want some?" she inquired mischievously.

Leo nodded rapidly, looking thirsty.

Karai smirked and got off the bed, taking one of Leo’s hands as he sat up and noticed his chocolate. He opened his mouth; closed it again. He stared into Karai’s eyes as she calmly gazed back. She took his mug off the tray carefully and placed it in his hands. Smiling, she watched as he took his first sip, the drink now the perfect temperature to enjoy. His sigh of utter bliss was everything she expected it to be, and her heart soared with joy.

Leo set the mug back on the tray and stood up, pulling Karai into a firm kiss as he stroked her back and massaged her shoulders. Releasing her, he sat back on the bed and grabbed his mug again as Karai crossed the room and retrieved the blanket and her own mug. Scooting back against the wall, Leo patted the bed in front of him when Karai turned to face him. Nodding, she turned her back to him and backed up to the bed, positioning herself to slide between Leo’s legs and recline against him. Leo had one arm around her waist and Karai had her head against his shoulder as they sipped their chocolate comfortably.

"Leo?" Karai broke the quiet tentatively.

"Hmmm?" he murmured gently, rubbing her stomach absently.

"Thanks for keeping me company. You know, while I worked. I know you wanted to sleep, but stayed awake to make me happy. 'Cause I asked."

Leo dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Not a problem. Only fair when you took over for me. Tedious inventorying." Leo raised his hand and patted her shoulder with a kiss to her cheek.

"Ha. And here I thought you were so selfless," Karai teased, nudging his arm playfully.

"Really? Because I’m pretty sure I’m not. How can leaders be selfless? We’re always on such a power trip." He winked, though a flash of bitterness replaced his initial good humor.

"Leo?" Karai queried worriedly. What had she said?

"Mmm." Leo shook his head, massaging Karai’s upper arm soothingly. "Never mind. It’s not your fault. It’s in the past."

"Leo," Karai warned.

"It’s true. I wasn’t referring to anything concerning you. Look. Forget it. It’s not an issue anymore and we had a good thing going with the chocolate. Hmmm? The past can’t be changed anyway." Leo stroked his hand up and down her arm, making Karai shift more comfortably against his chest and lick the side of his neck.

Karai drained her cup and set it on the tray. Leo copied her and she took his cup and set it beside hers. Then, she took Leo’s hands in hers and lay her head in Leo’s lap, the rest of her body across the bed. Leo pulled one hand away and stroked her face, her neck, her head, her shoulder. Karai savored the contact and closed her eyes, sighing deeply. But Leo noted Karai was frowning. "Leo," Karai murmured sleepily, "I talked to Father before I made the chocolate. We talked about you, and he suggested that I tell you something."

"Oh?" Leo rested a hand on her forearm as she raised herself on it and pulled away to look up at him.

"Yeah. I was telling him there’s no way I can possibly repay you for believing in me, for bringing me home, for showing me what it means to love and be loved. He said he didn’t think you expected anything back."

"He’d be right." Leo nodded firmly, frowning in displeasure.

"Well, he said…Look. You know me, Leo. Not returning the favor goes against who I am. It bothers me that I can’t do what you’ve done. I’ve been horrible to you and you had no reason to keep pursuing me. You’re going to say I belonged in this clan, that you and Sensei wanted me here. And I’ve been learning to love this new family and I’m grateful to our brothers for helping you help me. But gratitude, attachment, the willingness to die for family - it doesn’t feel like enough."

"What? Of course, it’s enough. It’s what we all feel for each other. No one expects more from you than that, Rogue." He lay on his pillow, opening the extra blanket and arranging it over his original one. "Come," he commanded softly, lying on his side and holding his arms out to Karai.

Karai turned to face him, sliding to his pillow and lying on one end of it as she rested one hand on his shell and over his ribs while the other arm supported his neck.

Leo pulled both blankets over them and pulled Karai against his chest with a contented sigh and a kiss to the side of her neck. "Karai, what have you been doing all night? Helping me, that’s what. Everything you’ve done tonight has spoken of love. You didn’t have to do any of it. And if you’re going to say one night of service doesn’t make up for trying to kill me and whatever, well, I say it does. And since you’re wanting to repay me, it’s my opinion that counts, my decision to say the debt is paid or cancelled. You’re a different person than the Karai I met. You’re a Hamato now and it shows. You’ve adapted very well to a clan I know is very different from what you were raised with. If I had to live in the Foot clan, I wouldn’t adapt so well. So you see? It’s not just tonight. Tonight is merely a cumulation of change, evidence of who you are now. That change is payment enough. You have honor. What more can I ask for?" 

"Leo," Karai murmured. "I don’t understand. I’m who I am because of you. So it doesn’t feel like an equal exchange." 

Leo sighed, this time in frustration, running a hand over his face. "You really think you’ve changed because of me? You don’t think that maybe this is who you were meant to be, who you should be based on your own personality?"

"I…" Karai hesitated. "That thought never occurred."

"Ugh," Leo groaned. "You changed because you wanted to. What makes you think this was my doing?"

"Because I’ve never met anyone as noble as you. You believed there was honor in me even before you knew I was a blood Hamato, even before I became important to the clan and there was a business reason to bring me home. It’s probably a lot of the reason why I hold you in such high regard. So I attribute good things about myself to you and care very much what you think of me."

Leo’s frustration melted away and his arms tightened around Karai as he kissed her lips lovingly. "Listen to me. I saw good in you; you saw bad in me. Both of us saw the truth. And I gave whatever you say I did - love, belief, a family - of my own free will. How is it that you owe me for something I chose to give? Gifts are not business transactions."

Karai sighed, laughing. "And Leonardo wins. Will you accept a 'thank you,' at least?"

"You’re more than welcome," Leo smiled.

"Leo. I’m so sorry. I keep getting in your way. I’ll let you sleep." Karai disentangled herself and sat up, pushing Leo gently onto his shell, which was how he was most comfortable.

Leo smirked, touched at the tenderness he inspired in her. "I’ll be fine, Karai. I think tonight, I’d rest better with you beside me, though." He raised his eyebrows in question.

Karai smiled, full of love and warmth, as she lay alongside Leo and rested her head on his chest. As Leo shifted onto his side and spooned behind her, Karai gave a quiet but audible yawn, hugging the fluffy blankets close to her as he held her tight. "G’night," Karai mumbled contentedly.

Karai drifted to sleep to the relaxing sensation of fingers combing through her hair.


End file.
